Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
