the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
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Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
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I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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