brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
