went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
