Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
