your thong is hanging out like whoa
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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