Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
