All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
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