I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
