It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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