Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
