We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
