At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
