dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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