I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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