Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
