Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
