Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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