If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize