What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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