it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
