One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
why is half of my head shaved?
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