worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
