i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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