We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
