I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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