Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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