that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
