so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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