Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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