her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
