just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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