it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
