Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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