Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Randomize
