If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
