i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
