K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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