The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
