It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
