We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Two words: blizzard sex
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
