i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
