I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
