Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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