What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
