butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
