So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
