he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...