You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
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mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
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We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..