small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
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He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
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She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.