This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Welp...herpes.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
