Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Randomize
