Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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