i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
