He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
