I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
