Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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