Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i love accidental penises.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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