We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
