Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
